Almost a mess

” You all know of our research in the South Atlantic, off Clerke Rocks, which, of course, is British territory.”

“No, this matter doesn’t endanger our relations with Britain.  Would you kindly refrain from interrupting until I’m finished.  Time is running out.”

“To resume my report… We’ve had a team of researchers on Clerke Rocks for almost eight months now, during which they have gathered information about weather patterns, marine animal migration routes, as well as seafloor geography.”

“Yes, we do have a geologist on the team.  It is standard procedure to have a qualified scientist in each of the different fields on one team.  I hope this will be the last interruption.  You must realise the importance of this matter.”

“I know I haven’t told you what it is yet. You haven’t given me any chance to tell you!”

“Anyway… the crises concerns the last of these activities.  While studying the seafloor with remote controlled subs, the geologist found signs of violent volcanic activity beneath Antarctica.”

Our meteorologist confirms that activities of this kind can alter the Earth’s climate dramatically.  He has a theory that recent droughts, as well as an increasing number of destructive hurricanes may have been caused by this phenomenon.”

“It is my belief that this might be the end of life as we know it.  Droughts will ravage once fertile lands, while temperate regions may become swamped with rain.”

“What proof do I have?  Of all the… never mind.  I have the telex the team sent me, as well as weather reports for the last three years.  It is clear that the patterns are altering.  What more proof do you need?”

“What do you mean ‘so what’?  This will affect our lives most unpleasantly.  I have no intension of spending the rest of my life in a mud hole, or starving in a dust bowl.”

“Some of us have already discussed what we would do if such a crises arose.  I can now offer you with great confidence the outcome of nine years of coldsleep research.  My scientists have found the sure way of surviving a global crises.  They’ll put us in coldsleep for an unlimited time.  A computer in the coldsleep capsule will waken us when conditions are more favourable.”

“No, unfortunately, as it is the first of April, they are all on leave.”

“What do you mean … April Fool’s day?…Of course…!”

Preferred source: Stories/Almost.slv